Riona's offenses can be many different things. Often they'll be things that annoy or irk me slightly,
but they can also be things that piss me off so much i'll want to scream and break many porcelian objects. Also hit
my boyfriend....jokingly, of course. Although, come to think of it, my rage is a bit of a force to be reckoned with.
As a child I ripped the arm off my favourite doll in a temper. I regretted it for years (still do, really) but the momentary
satisfaction was worth the years of regret. If only there hadn't been an innocent victim :(
Class A offenses. These are the ones that make me shout and stamp my feet,
not to mention hurl things and denounce my friends:
-Walkers crisps. Why won't Irish people just buy Irish products? Keep home industry alive
for the love of God.
-Poor covers of songs I love. I don't care whether the original artist likes the cover
or even contributed. These travesties make my blood boil. Yeah, I'm looking at you Mary J. Blige. 'One' by U2 is sacred!
Sacred I tell thee!
-Remakes of old cartoons and/or toys. Take the My Little Ponies for instance. The old ones
were so sweet. Now don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the new ones and I can't say I haven't bought a few, but really, what's
wrong with the old ways? Must we bulldoze everything in favour of your glass walls, musical toilets and earpods?
-People calling the Irish Taoiseach the 'Prime Minister'. We're not British, so please
stop giving us English titles. It has always and will always be Taoiseach, Ciara,Taoiseach, Taoiseach,
Taoiseach, Ciara, Taoiseach :)
-Anarchists. Come on people, really. Do you honestly think you can rule yourselves when
you can't even agree on a way to dress without making people laugh? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for alternative dressing,
but you cant dress alternatively to be different and then travel in packs who all wear the same black and red hoody with an
anarchy symbol emblazened on the front. Come now, you can do better than that.
-Dragging dogs along on leads when they obviously don't want to/can't walk anymore. Obviously
any cruelty to animals is totally unacceptable but this, in particular, saddens me a lot. The poor little things being dragged
along on tarmac by the neck. Cop the hell on and lift it home.
Class B offenses: These leave me with a yearning for a cigarette and a good aul
slam of a door.
-Sober Mc Donalds. Okay, fair enough, we've all been to that stage enroute from pub to
club with the lure of the lights and the slippery grey counters are just too much to resist, let alone the smell of sizzling
cow wafting three units up. That, I can accept. But sober? Lads, cop on. One can't taste anything when they're drunk, but
when your sober you can taste the shitty cardboard chips and 'special' mayonnaise *shudder*. Please, let's just leave it out,
yeah?
-American accents outside America. Look around, lads. Take a gooood luck. Now, did you
notice anything? As David Bowie would say, this is not America. So ye can cut out the 'OMIGOD's, the 'Like's, the 'Whatever's
and the 'Eww's. We didn't fight for independance for this country so ye could ruin our beautiful accent with your One Tree
Hill's and your OC's.
-Tearing pages out of library books. I'm pointing the finger at the mature students for
this. So as to create competition, they tear pages out of the college library books. That's cold, fellow students, cold!
- Exposed tummies. I don't care who you are, fat/thin/athletic. I don't want to see
your belly in public.
